Wall Street Is Falling / aka Bailout Bill
October 10, 2008 by Joyce E. Hodgdon, Inspired by sister, Hilma H. Adams
An Adaptation
Of Rick Walton’s The Sky Is Falling, a Bulrovian fairy tale
Once upon a time, the unknown Secretary Treasurer, Henni Penni Paulson had a bright idea and he went and told Fed Chairman, Gander Pander Bernanke, “Wall Street is falling, we must bail out Wall street because our investments are there.” Then Henni Penni Paulson made an announcement to American taxpayers, "We must bail out Wall Street to save Main Street or we will have a recession/depression. And we must do it by the end of the week."
The vote was cast and Congress said NO. Wall Street did not fall, it spiraled up.
So Henni Penni Paulson and Gander Pander Bernanke went along until they met President Lamesy Bamesy Bush , and said, "Wall Street is Falling. We must save Wall Street to save Main Street. Now President Lamesy Bamesy Bush had his money in Wall Street, too. What was he to do?
So, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush followed along behind Henni Penni Paulson and Gander Pander Bernanke .
They went along until they met House Speaker, Goosey Loosie Pelosi. " Wall Street is falling, come with us and help us save our ass_ets." So Goosie Loosie Pelosi got in line and followed Henni Penni Paulson, Gander Pander Bernanke, and President Lamesy Bamesy Bush.
So they ran along together until they met Senate Majority Leader, Ducky Dabbles Reid. “Wall Street is falling and we must bail everyone out with Main Street taxpayer dollars.”
Ducky Dabbles Reid asked Henni Penni Paulson, “How do you know Wall Street is falling?” “Two years ago, I sa sa saw it with my eyes, I he he heard it with my ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on my head,” said Henni Penni Paulson.
“I will go with you to convince the King’s realm (American Taxpayers),” said Ducky Dabbles Reid. We will dabble with billions in earmarks in the bailout bill. That’s what we’ll do.”
So Ducky Dabbles Reid followed along behind Henni Penni Paulson, Gander Pander Bernanke, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush and Goosie Loosie Pelosi and off they went on their quest to convince Main Street that Wall Street needed to be bailed out to save the economy and American jobs.
So they all ran along together until they met the Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, Phony Pony Dodd.
Phony Pony Dodd said, “Now hold up there one minute, Henni Penni Paulson. Where are all of you traveling off to so fast?” Henni Penni Paulson panted, “Wall Street is falling and we must bail ourselves out with Main Street tax dollars. We must save Wall Street to save Main Street and bail out the banks.”
Phony Pony Dodd asked, “How do you know Wall Street is falling?” Henni Penni Paulson answered, “Two years ago, I sa sa saw it with my eyes, I he he heard it with my ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on my head.”
“I will go with you to convince the King’s realm,” said Phony Pony Dodd. We will convince the American public that they will be the first in line getting relief then they won’t be shocked when we ask them for $700 billion trillion quintillion zillion of their hard earned tax dollars so we can bail out our financial institutions, save our investments and the world banks.”
Phony Pony Dodd agreed and followed along behind Henni Penni Paulson, Gander Pander Bernanke, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush, Goosie Loosie Pelosi and Ducky Dabbles Reid.
On their way they ran into Congressman Massy Pussy Barney (Frank). “Where are you all going in such a rush?” he asked Henni Penni Paulson. “We are going to convince the King’s realm that Wall Street is falling.”
Massy Pussy Barney asked. “How do you know Wall Street is falling?” “Two years ago, I sa sa saw it with my eyes, I he he heard it with my ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on my head,” said Henni Penni Paulson.
Massy Pussy Barney said, “I will go with you to convince the King’s realm. We must all “rise” to the occasion. I saved my lover and now we must act quickly to get this bill passed to save ourselves.” We will convince everyone that it will save Main Street and working class jobs.
So Massy Pussy Barney followed along behind Henni Penni Paulson, Gander Pander Bernanke, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush, Goosie Loosie Pelosi, Ducky Dabbles Reid and Phony Pony Dodd and off they went to convince the King’s realm.
Then, President Lamsey Bamesy Bush called Turkey Jerkey Obama and laid it on the line and said, "You have got to get in line if you want to be the next President of the United States." “Wall Street is falling, and we need your vote for this bailout.
Senator Turkey Jerky Obama asked, “How do you know Wall Street is falling?” President Lamesy Bamesy Bush replied, “Henni Penni Paulson just told me in an emergency meeting that, “two years ago, he sa sa saw it with his eyes, he he heard it with his ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on his head.”
Turkey Jerky Obama said. “I can’t go with you to the King’s realm, because I’m campaigning right now, but I’ll call you from my blackberry when you get there.”
So Henni Penni Paulson and everyone ran along together without Turkey Jerky Obama.
Then, President Lamesey Bamesy Bush called Senator Foggy Doggy McCain and laid it on the line and said, "You have got to get in line if you want to be the next President of the United States." “Wall Street is falling, and we need your vote for this bailout.”
Shortly after, it wasn’t too long when Henni Penni Paulson received a call from a panicked Foggy Doggy McCain from out on the campaign. “Hey friend he said, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush just called me and said that if I want to be the next President of the United States I have to get in line. Wall Street is falling, and everyone needs my vote for this bailout.”
“What? You mean to tell me I’m losing all my investments on Wall Street asked Foggy Doggy McCain? “How do you know Wall Street is falling?” “Two years ago, I sa sa saw it with my eyes, I he he heard it with my ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on my head,” said Henni Penni Paulson.
“But, but, but, I’m on the Presidential campaign trail. What should I do? What should I do?” moaned Foggy Doggy McCain. “Geez, I just told Main Street three weeks ago, that the fundamentals of our economy are sound.” “Ah, Foggy Doggy McCain,” said Henni Penni Paulson, “But, now Wall Street is falling and we are all going to convince the King’s realm to bail us out.”
“OK, then wait, don’t go without me, I’m dropping everything right now and I’ll help get others to go with us to convince the King’s realm to bail us all out. I know how to get the job done, my friend.”
So Foggy Doggy McCain followed along behind Henni Penni Paulson, Gander Pander Bernanke, President Lamesy Bamesy Bush, Goosie Loosie Pelosi, Ducky Dabbles Reid and Phony Pony Dodd. Whoops! Where is rinky dinky Barney? Ok, there he is we found Massy Pussy Barney. Off they all went on their quest to convince Main Street that Wall Street needed to be bailed out to save the economy and their American jobs.
They all ran along together and they met Foxie Loxie Wendy.
“Ah Foxie Loxie Wendy," said Henni Penni Paulson, “Wall Street is falling and we must go convince the King’s realm to bail us all out.”
“How do you know Wall Street is falling?” asked Foxie Loxie Wendy. “Two years ago, I sa sa saw it with my eyes, I he he heard it with my ears, and a bi bi bit of it fe fe fell on my head,” answered Henni Penni Paulson. We need a bailout and we need it today.
Foxie Loxie Wendy exclaimed “Dang, you all ain’t gonna take credit for this. This was my brainstorm and how I got RICH off Enron. Let’s join together and leave our lucrative private sector jobs and jump onto the train to fortune and fame with the United States government and live off the taxpayer’s money. We are going to bite the heads off and gobble down them Chicken Licken American taxpayers.
The moral of this story is “Do Not Believe All You Hear.” Always remember, Wall Street did not start to fall until AFTER government officials banded together and voted YES to the bailout.
The American Chicken Licken taxpayers are resilient. We will vote OUT every long term, selfish, lying, cheating, greedy, thieving, good-for-nothing, perverted person in government office. America is the home of the Chicken Licken taxpayers. It is our home and it is where we are will roost forever.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Work Cited
Walton, Rick, “The Sky Is Falling” Rick Walton.com Sept. 27, 2003, 9 Oct. 2008
<http://www.rickwalton.com/funstuff/skyfall.htm>.
10 October 2008, All Copyrights Reserved